God I Love Beating Rex Ryan

Taylor McCloud — Pats Militia

I love beating Rex Ryan. It’s honestly one of my favorite things in the world. Seeing him lose, especially in a 41-25 blowout, just makes my heart happy.

His dumb ass came into this one so confident. Won in Week 4 and was riding high. So much for that, huh? Dude got torn up by Tommy Brady and was reduced to a puddle by the fourth quarter. Seriously, when he was yucking it up on the sideline it was the funniest thing ever. His team was getting obliterated and he’s all smiles. And when he jokingly threw the challenge flag at the end of the game and was penalized for it…

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What a squid.

All week long, all I heard about was how the Bills were ready for the Patriots. They beat them in Week 4 and were ready to do it again. If any Patriot did anything, if Tom Brady ran down their sideline before the game, they were going to rough him up.

Well Buffalo, he did run down your sideline, and then all over your defense over and over and over and over again.  I’m not even kidding about him running either, he literally ran through the Bills’ defense.

But that’s not where the money’s made; it’s with the arm, and let me tell you, the wing was working for #12.

Yesterday Brady threw for 315YD & 4TD on 22 completions.

Brady to ‘Dola? Thank you very much.

https://twitter.com/patriotsfanpage/status/792841421329870849

Brady can’t throw the deep ball? *Sips tea*

Julian Edelman hasn’t been getting it done lately? I hope this tackle-breaking, monster TD reception helps.

Gronk needs one more to get 69TD & the Pats’ all-time TD record? Sure, why not.

And sure, let’s talk about Gronk for a little bit.

We all knew he’d get his 69th career touchdown yesterday. After he caught #68 in Pittsburgh, it was a pretty much guaranteed that he’d be getting one more in his hometown of Buffalo. What we didn’t know, though, is how he’d celebrate it.

I speculated we’d see something incredible.

While it wasn’t exactly crazy, it was respectable. The bow added some flare to the spike & followed the Patriot Way to a tee. Can’t complain about that.

But back to Brady.

He racked up 315YD on just 22 completions. That’s 14.3YPA, an incredible number, or an MVP number.

Yup, I said it, an MVP number.

In my predictions blog before the season, I said this would happen. I said that from Week 5 on, Brady would put up MVP-like numbers, and guess what? He is.

In just sixteen quarters of football, Tom Brady has thrown for 1,319YD, 12TD, 0INT, and has a passer rating of 133.9.

You didn’t read that wrong. It’s that 2007, the undefeated season and an MVP year for Brady — the gold-standard for modern quarterbacks, and Tom Brady is eclipsing it. I have no idea how he’s doing it, but it’s incredible.

Because he missed four games, he’s obviously not leading categories like yards and touchdowns, but he’s at the top of the leaderboard for almost all of the others.

Completion percentage? Check.

Yards per attempt? Check.

Interceptions? Check.

Passer rating? Check.

Yards per game? No check. He’s second behind Drew Brees.

But it is absolutely unfathomable that Tom Brady is playing like this. There has been zero rust, zero fall-off due to age, and zero sign of slowing down — the chief reason I think there’s a real chance he wins MVP.

Before you jump down my throat with the “HOW COULD YOU EVEN SAY HE’S NOT AN MVP CANDIDATE BRO?!” narrative, breathe. Good? Ok.

In that aforementioned prediction blog, I said Brady would put these numbers up. I said he’d come back pissed and dominate. However, I too said that he wouldn’t win MVP because he missed four games. I didn’t think there’d be any shot the voters would see anything he does and not have their vision clouded by DeflateGate. But I don’t know how they’re going to deny this. This is some of the best quarterback play I’ve ever seen in my life. Tom Brady is clearly the best quarterback in this league and if he keeps it up, has to be in the conversation for best player, regardless of his suspension. I hope voters can see that.

(End Brady lovefest here.)

Stephen Gostkowski had a pretty good Sunday, too.

But his season had been miserable thus far. I know it, you know it, he knows it.

For the majority of my life, I’d only known Gostkowski drilling kicks. Everything seemed like a chip shot for the guy. But when he walked out there for that 51-yard attempt yesterday, I had no idea what was going to happen. I hadn’t completely lost confidence in him, but I’d be lying if I told you the thought of him missing didn’t cross my mind.

Luckily though, he made it. It wasn’t pretty, but he made it. And he made every other kick he took too.

Hopefully that’s the turning point for SG3. Hopefully he just had to see one go through. Get the butterflies out. Forget about Denver. Forget about the first seven games. Get back to being the best kicker in the league.

And finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention #DildoGate

There was a fake penis on the field.

I don’t know why, but I do know how.

And I know what it looked like

Says “Brady’s Dildo” right on it, but I don’t think that’s right. Can’t be right. Not according to Gronk.

Dude scored his 69th career TD and got to make a dick joke all within a couple hours. What a day for the big guy?

Also, peep this burn from a PatsMilitia member

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Melissa Campbell (@peimel) comes off the top rope and DDT’s Sexy Rexy.

I love it.

Go Pats.

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